The message in this context is very personal. It is something that I connect with and yearn for. A state of mind and a behavior that I find myself chasing in the suburbs and behind all the noise. It is a feeling of belonging and an internal struggle of definition. What am I? Who are they? I can't be the only one that feels this way.
For the longest time, I was convinced this search was the byproduct of mixed marriage and foreign countries (that in reality are home countries). I thought it was a void that was controlled by paper and placement. The more I searched however, the more I found that this void is not limited to my circumstances but also evident in other journeys. People with defined belonging systems experience searching for a belonging in other places too. Now we could say this is the humans innate behavior of never being satisfied but I think otherwise. I think the complexity of our hearts knows not to settle for a defined belonging stated by paper. That there is a world out there longing to hear our voices and feel our feet in the earth. There are places waiting for you asking the sky when you will arrive. Those places know no time or paper. They know humanity.
On the many nights I spent alone behind the wheel curving out the road to the mountains, I watched as the world moved around me and the lights faded but then rose again. I watched the terrain change from coral sands to a warm red and then I watched as the mountains pierced the horizons ahead. I watched as they continuously and naturally grounded our earth and welcomed me home. I imagined a bird and how it would look down on me, a human body in a metal box moving as nature wants me to move. I can't help but think in this moment how fast things change, how the song ends in a few minutes, the petrol burns faster and the mountains...they change as the moon peaks between the cliffs. With every change, the moon rises and continues to rise. And for a second there I thought, what are we chasing if all our moments are fleeting?
I can't be the only one on this road feeling this way I thought. A car would pass and I would think, "he must think how grand this view is". And then another car would pass and I would think, "they're having the time of their lives." And the time would go on and on and on. Everytime another soul would fill the space around me I would yearn to hold their hand and dig our feet in the sand together. Time would stop, I thought. We would be in this moment together and nothing would matter. Because in reality, this is all we have. Each other. This is not a fleeting moment.
And I thought what a belonging. What a beautiful beautiful world this is when you know the mountains wait to feel you, the sand wants to move its grains for you and the waves want to crash just for you. I am a rock like I am sand and I am water like I am a peak. I am all there is and all there ever will be, alongside the rest of humanity. I want to hold the worlds hand and them to hold mine. I want to strip myself of any titles and be a soul among other souls...for nature, for humanity, for belonging.
It is important my fellow Wanderers, that this is how you feel.
